I need a break!

Lately, my life has been extraordinarily busy. I look at my calendar, and I have something listed every day! Why is it that I have so much trouble saying "NO"? I'm afraid I will seem rude or uncaring. I feel guilty for wanting to spend time at home working on the mountain of laundry in my bedroom, for wanting to spend time with my husband and my children, and especially for wanting to do something just for me. I feel like people have these expectations of me, and when they aren't met, I am worthless in their eyes.
As a teacher, I am expected to be everything for every student. During the course of one work day, I am a parent, a counselor, a nurse, a disciplinarian, a cheerleader, a career advisor, a maid, a secretary, a child advocate, and an educator. If I drop the ball on one of these, I might as well have failed at all of them. Right?
As a pastor's wife, I'm expected to...Well I found the following passage about pastor's wives online, and I can't put it in better words...

"We are called to be all things to all people at all times in order that we might win some. Our attitude must never be guided by our emotions, a slight, a rejection, a burden or a criticism. We are to hold our heads high and smile at all times. We must shake every hand and pat every head and hear every complaint. We must always know where our husbands are, and be ever-ready to relay any message to him, and if he doesn’t act upon that message, we are accountable for his inaction.
Our children must sit in absolute silence while listening attentively to every word our husbands say. They must be dressed in spic and span condition and exemplify all the fruit of the Spirit. We are to have a perfectly clean and organized house. We are to live on less than what our members live on but dress above our means and bring elaborate dishes to every potluck.
We must be in attendance at everything at all times to support the work of others in the Lord. We are to answer questions of “What do you think?” with non-answers that have nothing to do with what we think, but with neutrality. We are on call at any moment, at all hours of the night, to carry on without our spouses and we are to get absolutely giddy for the pleasure of not having his company. We are not to be sick or in need of our spouse’s attention. Our opinions and thoughts are not our own, but representative of our husband’s. And he is held accountable for all we think, say and do."

I think the above passage gives a pretty good list of reasons why I feel like I can't say NO. Are all of these things true? Probably not. Are these really the expectations that others have of me? I really don't think so, but at the same time, these are the things that gnaw at me when I can't be Superwoman.
These are the moments when it is important to remember that the only One I have to answer to is God. God set me apart to be so many things in my life: daughter, sister, wife, mother, pastor's wife, teacher, friend. But the greatest role I have ever had is a child. His child. What others counted (and may still count) as worthless, God counted as significant. He has a plan for me. He lives in me and I in Him. He will never let me go. He will take my burden and give me rest. And that's all I need.

I know it's been a while.

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post. March held more stressings and blessings for my family than I was prepared for.

STRESSING:

At the beginning of the month, Steven and I were told that Titus needed to have tubes put in his ears, but he had a heart murmur so he would have to see a pediatric cardiologist before we scheduled surgery. 

BLESSING:

We took him to the cardiologist, and everything was completely normal. Titus has an innocent murmur.

STRESSING:

Two days after I took off work to bring Titus to the cardiologist, I woke up, dressed for work, dressed both boys, and was about to head out the door when I started throwing up (sorry if you have a weak stomach.) So, I had to take off another day of work.

BLESSING:

I was able to spend the WHOLE day at home ALONE! Can you believe it? I just slept the day away. It was bliss.

STRESSING:

The calendar on my cell phone has something on it everyday. Steven and I barely have enough time to communicate with each other about what's coming up.

BLESSING:

I found an AMAZING app called Cozi that helps sync our calendars. (You really should check it out!)

STRESSING:

Keaton had his first field trip, and I wasn't able to go because I'm watching my days at work.

BLESSING: 

Steven was able to go, and Keaton had a great time with his daddy!

STRESSING:

Titus had surgery and started throwing up blood the second we walked out of the surgery center.

BLESSING:

The nurse said since the blood was dark, we had nothing to worry about. It was just dried blood that had settled and upset his stomach. 

STRESSING:

Titus continued throwing up blood on the way home in morning work traffic, and Keaton was freaking out in the car. We were both doing all we could to calm Titus down and clean him up. Keaton just had to wait until the episode was over before we could explain what was going on.

BLESSING:

Steven didn't wreck the car in all the mess, and my parents were able to meet us to get Keaton so we could focus on Titus and Keaton wouldn't be upset.

STRESSING:

I'm the color guard coach at school. We've had practice twice a week after school and competitions almost every Saturday.

BLESSING:

Our final competition was at the beginning of April, and the girls did an amazing job!

STRESSING:

Finances...enough said

BLESSING:

Steven and I both have jobs, a place to live, and food for our children.

STRESSING:

Church stuff non-stop.

BLESSING:

I was called to be a pastor's wife. God chose me to encourage the man he wanted to shepherd his flock. I am able to see first-hand God at work in the lives of those in our congregation and in our church as a whole.

I know this was a rather long post, but I hope that some of the blessings I've pointed out help you to see yours in the midst of your stressings.