"A change will do you good!"

I know that change is inevitable. There is nothing we can do to stop it; we may as well just embrace it. Right?? I do my best to remember this fact, and I even find myself looking forward to change -- for the most part.
When it comes to one particular thing in my life, change really stresses me out more than it should. Just thinking about it now as I'm typing, my heart is racing. Prolonged thought will send my head spinning, the walls will appear to be closing in, and my breathing will become more labored. What is the source of all of this anxiety? A new cell phone.
I know what you're probably thinking, "This chick really needs to chill out!" And I know you're right. It is completely insane that a new cell phone could cause so much panic, but it does for me.
A few years ago, my husband and I had our cell phone service with Verizon. I had an LG Envy phone (you know, the one with the full flip-out keyboard), and I absolutely LOVED it! After having the phone for a few years, it started malfunctioning. It wouldn't hold a charge. It would shut off unexpectedly even when the battery was fully charged. People would call, only my phone would never ring. They would text, but I would never receive the message. I dealt with this for as long as I could, but eventually I was ready for a new phone. What was I going to get? The LG Envy 2. It made perfect sense to me.
Then, Steven decided that we needed to switch to AT&T so that our monthly bill would be cheaper. With a heavy heart, I went with him to our local AT&T store to pick out my new phone. He wanted me to have a Blackberry, but I found those phones way to complicated and didn't care for the keypad. The salesman convinced both my husband and I that an iPhone would be the best choice. The first two days I had my iPhone, I couldn't get it away from Steven, so I went back to the store and bought him one. That was almost 2 years ago. Now, as you all know, Apple has come out with the iPhone 4 and is teasing an iPhone 5 release this summer. I thought that Steven and I would wait until this summer and get the new one, but that's not what happened.
One afternoon last week, Steven told me that while he was out and about, he stopped at AT&T to see what sort of smartphones they had other than the iPhone. Cue the heart palpitations! He asked if I would go to the store with him to look at the HTC Inspire, because that phone was the best fit for us. I told him I would. He then spent all weekend and most of Monday talking about this phone. I finally agreed to go to the store with him on Tuesday.
The salesman did an excellent job explaining why the android is way better than the iPhone. My favorite point: it is half the price. However, the whole time he was talking, I was only half listening. With every amazing feature he showed us, I grew more and more panicky. My heart was pounding in my ears, and all of a sudden every little thing irritated me. Because of this crazy anxiety, I couldn't even think clearly enough to make a rational decision. I finally told Steven that I would do whatever he thought was best, and we bought the phones.
After having the phone for a few days, I am convinced that Steven was (I can't believe I'm going to say this) RIGHT! I love the HTC Inspire! It is better than my iPhone! So then....Why all of the panic? Why couldn't I have accepted the change? I mean really...it's a cell phone!!
If I had never consented to getting these new phones, I would have missed out on all of the amazing FREE apps that iPhone users must pay for, not to mention the voice activated text-messaging feature and a slew of other benefits. We should not allow change to paralyze us with the fear of the unknown; we should, on the other hand, focus on all of the good that could come because of the change.

I've changed my mind!

Before I had children, I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I've always wanted to work! I needed to feel productive. I needed to have something that was all mine.
After I had Keaton, my feelings changed some but not a lot. I was able to stay at home with him for the first three or four months. Once I went back to work, it was hard. I would have liked to stay at home with him, but when I had to go to work, I didn't feel like my heart was being ripped from my chest.
Now, I've changed my mind! I want to stay home with my baby! I don't know what it's so much harder to go to work now that Titus is here. Maybe it's because I was only home with him for 9 weeks after he was born. Maybe it's because when he was 6 weeks old we moved in with my parents while trying to get our house ready. (Something that was supposed to last a month ended up lasting almost six!) Maybe it's because my sweet Titus still doesn't have his room painted and decorated when Keaton had that before he was born. Maybe it's because I've seen how fast it all went with Keaton, and I feel like I'm missing out on everything with Titus. Maybe it's because my mother-in-law said my husband is more of a mother than I am because I work.
All I know is...I took Titus to the doctor yesterday. He has two spots of ringworm on his face, he has pink eye in both eyes, his left ear is infected, he now needs tubes in his ears, and he has a heart murmur that must be checked by a cardiologist before he can be cleared for the tubes. (All of this came up practically over night! Please don't think I notice symptoms and neglected to take him to the doctor!) Last night I was up with him all night, and when I finally got him cozy, sleeping in his bed, it was time for me to get dressed for work.
Don't get me wrong! I like my job. I truly believe it is the best job for a working mother to have, and I'm very thankful that God has blessed me with it. It's just that lately, I find myself praying that God would bless Steven with a salary that would allow me to stay home or even work only part-time.
Then again...I may feel differently tomorrow. Who knows?