For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7
Many people may not realize this about me, but I am a chronic people-pleaser. Even the thought of someone being upset with me is almost unbearable - like stomach-in-knots, heart-racing, on-the-verge-of-tears unbearable.
Yesterday, I heard through the grapevine (because that's what happens when you live in a small town) that someone has felt the need to vent (aka gossip) about me and my husband to many other people around town. Now, I know that with me being a teacher and my husband being a pastor, our lives are VERY public and a lot of people know us or at least they think they do. Hearing about Ms. Talks-a-lot and her conversations yesterday really got to me. Yes, I felt the knot in my stomach, my heart racing, and tears actually fell.
But over the fifteen minute drive home, God spoke to me...
You see...People may know our names, they've seen us around town, maybe they've sat for one of my husband's sermons or I've taught one of their teenagers. But do they really know us??
God reminded me that he KNOWS me!! He sees my heart when I pray for my family, my students, my church, my co-workers, and my community daily. He sees when I sit with a student hours after the final bell of the day helping him to write a paper that determines if he will graduate or not. He is there when the teenage girl talks to me about a pregnancy scare because her mother isn't in the picture.
Why am I so concerned about what other people see or don't see on the outside when God sees EVERYTHING about me! Shouldn't I do all I can to please Him and Him alone?
Father, I pray that my focus is on pleasing You, not other people. I pray that You give me that peace as I know You see my heart! Thank you. In His name, Amen.